10 common traits of successful female leaders

beyond being a woman

All ladies are not the same, that’s for sure, as we all are unique and beautiful in our own ways. But as successful female leaders, we have developed certain traits, certain habits, a certain identity that every woman can develop and implement in their daily lives, particularly if we aspire to lead with charm and power, with an iron hand in a velvet glove, being beautiful and attractive as well as strong and determined.

1. Self-confidence, Self-love, Self-esteem

Self-confidence, self-love, and self-esteem seem to be common to all female leaders, though if you really ask us, we have to reinforce ourselves to be able to naturally and spontaneously tell you what we believe to be true, without listening to this little voice in our mind that asks us “Who are you to make such a bold statement?” followed by a wave of fear that we quickly brush away by reinforcing our statement, not letting anybody know about what just passed through our mind.

2. Accountability, Self-Discipline

It’s one skill to make plans and assign tasks. It’s a different skill to follow through on that plan and to regularly have checkpoints with teammates to make sure nobody is falling off a cliff. The point is to assert our own will on our monkey mind to tame it and to derive the joy of the reward of having accomplished what we set out to do. We do not allow ourselves to take a side step and miss a deadline. Our honor depends on our ability to fulfill our intention and our tasks at hand.

3. Leadership toward oneself and others

To be a great leader, we first have to lead ourselves. And to get to the desired outcome, we have to rely on a team. This is why leadership is a question of relationships with ourselves and with others. Being a great leader means inspiring the best in other people so that the common outcome is reached faster than if you try to just succeed by yourself.

I was reading a study that was done in a college environment where a teacher gave an air balloon to every student and asked them to write their name and class on their balloon. The teacher filled up the entire hallway with hundreds of balloons, all the same color, with all the names completely mixed up in this hallway. Then this teacher gave 5 minutes to the students for each of them to find their own balloon. It was a disheartening group failure, nobody was able to find their own balloon. The teacher did not react or scold them, contrarily, he changed the requirement and gave them another 5 minutes for each of them to give the balloon they were able to grab to their respective owner. Almost all of the students got their balloons back in time. In conclusion, this teacher reminded all the students that so much more can be accomplished when we focus on making other people happy rather than only ourselves regardless of others.

Success is realized when a team is working together in sync.

4. Innovation, Creative Thinking, Inventivity

Another trait that is common to all of us, successful women, is this ability to see solutions where others see problems, to see connections where others see impossibilities. This ability is developed when we chose to assert a new truth on what we are witnessing, which sparked innovative ideas to make our dream come true.

When we consider a dream as “just a dream”, we will never accomplish anything, and it will stay in the dimension of dream and idea. But when we consider a dream as having happened in reality, and we speak life into it, this dream becomes an obligation to accomplish something greater than ourselves. We do not allow anything else than the desired outcome, and we do not take ‘no’ as a valid answer. By asserting the desired outcome over the situation or the thing that we are witnessing, we harness the amazing power of the universe that brings together the perfect idea at the perfect moment with the perfect people around us.

5. Short-Term Vision, Long-Term Vision

Another trait that is common to great leaders is to hold a short-term and a long-term vision. The short-term vision allows us to assign tasks on a daily or weekly basis. The long-term vision guides us in today’s choices to reach the desired outcome that is greater than ourselves, greater than our company, that improves the state of the world and improves people’s lives.

6. Re-Storying Failure As a Growth Opportunity

Instead of letting ourselves feel the setbacks and ruminate about them for hours or days, we quickly use the setbacks to jump forward and to adjust and outgrow ourselves to meet our desired outcome. A failure is only a blessing in disguise, as my beloved husband Sascha Gorokhoff puts it in his book “From Victim To Victory, A Leadership Journey”. Learn more about Sascha here.

7. Focusing On Your Inner Development

Becoming aware of our triggers, and what sets us on fire or in anger is essential for high-performance leadership. And for that, we have to be in a psychologically safe environment where we can have someone to help us think through our triggers, let us cry out our emotions, poke us where it hurts with love and respect until we no longer feel these feelings of fire, anger, or frustration. 9 times out of 10, we will have to go back to our childhood and figure out what happened and our interpretation of the events as a child regardless of the exactitude or the precision of them, as it’s all a question of feelings, of traumas, and of stress response in certain cases. Spending time on our inner development is speeding up our ability to be compassionate and effective leaders, as we become able to relate to other people’s strong reactions or triggers.

8. Self-Worth: Our Perception Of Our Value

Other people can tell us over the years that we are extraordinary, fantastic, beautiful, inspiring, motivating, genius, and popular. If we do not believe it ourselves, we are doomed. What we believe about ourselves is true to us, and then other people mirror our beliefs and play us back what we believe is true. (At least, we can only hear with our heart what we believe is true). Self-worth is probably the main trait that separates successful leaders from unsuccessful ones.

9. “There is no I in TEAM”

This saying goes a long way and is used a lot in sports teams. We cannot play it as a one-woman show. We rely on each other, with a clear common vision, a clear common goal, and we ALL do everything in our power to get it. It’s not a question of who is bigger, better, stronger, the best, or anything like that. As a successful leader, we lead a whole team, a whole company, a whole family, and ourselves with it to the desired outcome.

10. Real Talks Between Real Women

We are not focused on building the largest network ever, barely knowing a tiny fraction of the people who follow us and connect with us. We focus on being true, on having real talks with our peers, as well as with our colleagues. We focus on meeting people heart to heart without losing our vision of the desired outcome. We know what it takes to get there, and we’re walking the talk. It’s not about how many people know us, it’s about deep trustworthy relationships that we can count on at the right time, and that leaves a lasting impact.